Max's Blessing Day

On Mothers day we got to bless Max while we were in Utah.  Jordan had just finished studying and taking his first board exam (Step 1) and was only able to fly out for three days, but we had so much fun together while he came out.  He gave Max a sweet blessing while we were surrounded by our family.  Before the blessing itself we sang "Families Can be Together Forever" and I got so emotional singing it with everyone I love in one room together knowing I get to be with them all for Eternity.  

Little Max has blessed my life so much in just three months!  I am so grateful for him coming right when I needed him most.  He may be a bit fussy (ahem... picture above), but when he smiles my heart feels as though it may burst, and when I am filled with anxiety all I have to do is hold him close to me and I feel so much better.  He is heaven in our home.   

Easter 2016


I have got to get better at blogging pictures after events happen- cause I forget SO much but want to remember it all so desperately.  This was Easter and I seriously don't remember much of it at all... I was just so tired from taking care of my sweet little newborn.  :)

At the Pool

A while back when it was just starting to get warm enough outside to swim I said to Jordan after dinner, "Lets take Myra to the pool and let her stay up late to celebrate it getting warm!!!"  So out we went... unfortunately it was still a bit colder than we thought it would be since it was later in the day- but she had a blast.  I love watching these two together.  They have a bond like nothing I have seen before.  She gets so excited whenever she sees him and she is the first person he opens his arms to when he gets home.  Multiple times a day he will say to me, "Gosh, I just love her so much.  It fills like I might die cause I love her so much..."

And even now, Myra just woke up from her nap as I was typing- I walked in and she started crying and asked for "Dada".  

I hope they always share this special bond together.  

Picking'

Early this morning we went blueberry picking for the first time this season!  It was so fun to watch Myra as she held the bucket on her own and picked every blueberry she could see.  I had to teach her to only pick the blue ones and after that she wouldn't walk past ONE blue blueberry without picking it...she got a little OCD about it...hahaha  It was a big change from last year when she was just running around and eating berries off the ground.   

We will definitely have to go back again before they close for the season!  Myra threw a nice little tantrum for me when I made her leave.  Next time we can hopefully get our crazy busy daddy to come along so that I can have the arms to bring my real camera and snap some better pictures.  

I love this adventure we are having in Florida... I will definitely miss the blueberries when we leave someday! 

Max's Newborns

For a multitude of reasons we nearly didn't get any newborn pictures with Max... LAST MINUTE- seriously a few days before these were taken, we decided we had to do them no matter what... I knew i would regret it and that he would only have that newborn look one more week and it had to be captured professionally.  I am SOOOOO glad that Jordan convinced me.  

I love this little boy so dang much, and looking back at these pictures takes me back to those first few weeks with him.  I love pictures because they evoke memories and feelings that would be difficult to recall and feel without them.







Pictures by Eva Snider Photography

Bits & Pieces

MYRA GRACE
1. In loooooove with the color "yoyo" and is always asking for her "yoyo" shoes!
2. Knows all of her alphabet... thanks to our ABC game which she always asks to play, and our Dr. Seuss flash cards.  Whenever she see's letters on something (even billboards) she tells us what they are.
3. Loves her ladybug "booths".
4. Decided to slurp up some water off the floor at Chick-fil-a this week and caught a tummy bug :(.
5. Always giving brother hugs and kisses.

MAXWELL
1. Only wants to sleep with mom holding him.
2. Keeps peeing through the front of his diapers while laying on his tummy.
3. Has started to smile occasionally and it makes my heart burst.
4. Chunkier than ever- LOVES to eat!
5. Completely outgrown his newborn clothes.

Hospital with my boy...

Myra came to visit us twice in the hospital.  She loved holding him and was SO sad when he was taken away from her! ;)


I LOVE the time I get to spend in the hospital after giving birth.  Its almost like a honeymoon with your baby- there is no time like it!

The hospital I got to deliver Max at was AWESOME!  They are certified as a "Baby Friendly Hospital"  which means all the workers get certified in many things that support Skin-to-skin for an hour immediately after birth, breastfeeding, rooming in (which means i got to be with him 24 hours every day and they would come to the room for tests and procedures) and they don't give them binkies (which I gave him anyways cause he mastered breastfeeding so quickly! :)) The staff there was also fantastic...So much so that I wanted to stay there all week and told them I would be back to deliver another baby in 18 months;)... They thought I was kidding!  hahaha

Most of the time there I just snuggled my boy, slept and fed him.  A lot of the time Jordan was gone helping with Myra or doing school things so i tried to really soak in the joy of just the two of us.  I treasure those few days with him... they are so sacred to me!  Gahhhhhh... I just love him so much.

Some iPhone Photos from Lately

On the 5th Myra turned 2 years old!!! 
She woke up to a new kitchen...

complete with cooking gear and pretend food.  Little girl heaven.
She spent most of the day playing with her new kitchen while we waited for daddy to get home from school.

All she wanted was to go to the "cow place and go weeeeeeeee".  Which means she wanted to go to chick-fil-a and go down the slide :).  So once Jordan got home we went and met Myra's friend Isla at Chick-fil-a.  We let her play for awhile (which she LOVED) and then headed to our house for some cake.  When we told her to blow out the candles she did a half sneeze/half blow...which i wasn't sure she was meaning to do on purpose.  So we did the candles again... and she proceeded to do the half sneeze/blow once again.  It was quite adorable. 
She didn't really eat the cake but was ALLLL over that icing.  ;)

For Max's 3 week appointment he weighed in at a whopping 10lbs 6oz... Thats like a pound a week.  He is chunking up reaaaaaal nice :).

The kids pediatrician is really close to Jordan's school so we met up with Jordan for lunch right after the appointment. 
We had a nice afternoon of painting one day.
 I do a whole lotta this lately:
She has adjusted SO well to becoming a big sister.  It hasn't been perfect (a few hits here and there), but I can tell she just loves him so much already and that makes my heart happy.
Jordan was gone late studying and came home to me trying to calm a crying baby... he swooped in and in an instant had him calm as he showed him a frog on our window (outside).
This happens sometimes...and Ive finally learned to just laugh when it happens.
On Saturday we went to our community Easter egg hunt.  
Myra was so cute about wanting to open each egg after grabbing one to see and eat what was inside.  She kept yelling "'EGGY".
Making an easter necklace together...and then she also played in a bounce house for awhile and loved it.
And... Today Max turned ONE month. Its going wayyyyy too fast.  Someone please freeze time.

Maxwell

"Jordan."  "Jordan"  I continually repeated getting louder each time.  It was three in the morning and like every night I desperately had to pee.  But this time was different.  I had awoken because I was having such a painful contraction that I literally could not roll over and get myself to the bathroom.  

Jordan finally woke up and helped push my achey, large body over the bed.

As I washed my dry hands the thought that had come to me so many times within the past month came to me again... "This is it!!!"  I dried my hands and then waddled over to my warm bed as emotions flooded my body.  I peeled back the covers and curled up next to Jordan who was already fast asleep again.  I laid there as my thoughts had a battle with each other.  A battle over "this is it" and "you're never having this baby!  it's stuck in you forever... have a fun life!"  

I was miserable.  Ready to be DONE being pregnant and ready to look into the eyes of my sweet boy.  

And that's when my prayers started.  "Please let me have another contraction.  And please make it painful.... SOOOO painful!" I literally was in tears as I begged Heavenly Father to just make the contractions painful.  Because I knew that pain meant baby.  

And ten minutes later another one came.  Painful, just like the last.  And they continued...every ten minutes.


I laid there in bed for the next few hours staring at our white wall and studying the way the light from our street lamp shone through our window.  I listened to the frogs outside and basked in the joy I was feeling from every painful contraction.  

After awhile of laying there my excitement began to make me restless so I got up and took a hot shower.  And then I cleaned the house.  

At that point it was around five in the morning and my thoughts and energy were all over the place.

My in-laws were on a red-eye flight and were going to arrive soon so I decided to whip up some German pancakes.  

I am sure they were expecting to walk in the door to a dark quiet apartment... but they were surprised and welcomed to a daughter in law that was brimming with excitement and energy.  At this point the contractions were painful enough that I was down on my hands and knees with each one.  After each contraction I would clap with excitement and say"Guys, that was such a good one... SO painful!"  

For hours this went on... but they never got closer together.  My excitement started to leave and sadness started to creep into its place.  I was left wanting to curl up into a ball on my bed and just cry.  I needed something to make me feel better- so we went and got pedicures and I ate nearly a whole bag of cadbury eggs.  

By the time we got home from the pedicures my contractions had nearly stopped and were only coming about twice in an hour.


It was now late afternoon and they still hadn't progressed so I went out into the rain and jogged the stairs outside of my apartment hoping it would bring them back and this time more frequent and painful.  After a while of doing it and seeing no progress I was ready to try the next idea.  

So we ventured out to target to buy a yoga ball for me to bounce on.  

While in target the contractions started getting close together again and every ten minutes I would have to bend over the cart as I tried with all my might to not fall on the cold tile and just lay in the middle of the isle.  

As we were checking out I finally said after a really painful one, "Guys, I think I need to go to the hospital."  

BUT- I KNEW they would send me home.  So we went back home rather than the hospital. 
While at home I watched the bachelor and bounced for a good hour and half on that yoga ball.  

But they were still TEN MINUTES APART.  

At this point my mom called me and insisted I go to the hospital... and my momma is HARD to say no to.  But Jordan was in the middle of an assignment that was due that night so waited for him to finish.
We finaly arrived at the hospital and I was nervous, frightened and worried... worried that these nurses would make fun of me for acting like I was in so much pain and send me home saying, "you're not in labor..."
After they hooked me up to the heart rate and contractions monitor she checked me for dilation.  I was a four... So the nurse left to call my Doctor to see what to do with me.

  I laid there for a while... no contraction.  OF COURSE once they hook me up to see if I am contracting I get no contractions...Frightened and exhausted I turned to Jordan and said, "Should I jump up and down or something to make myself have a contraction?"  and he looked at me like I was crazy.

After about fifteen minutes and ONE strong contraction the nurse told me that since they were unsure if I had been at a four for a few days or if I had progressed to a four just today that they needed me to walk around the hospital for two hours and then come back and they would check to see if I had progressed more.  If I had progressed at the end of the two hours, they would keep me.  

So there I was at 10:30 PM completely drained, starving and having to labor in the halls of a hospital...


After buying some salt and vinegar chips and water to boost my energy Jordan and I headed for the hospital stairs.  "I am NOT leaving this hospital without a baby" I said to Jordan... so he sat at the top of the stairs and studied while I jogged them for over an hour. We then walked the halls... and with every contraction I fell to the ground in so much pain...They were getting closer together and the pain was so unbearable at this point that I couldn't wait the remaining fifteen minutes to return to Labor and Delivery.  So we returned early.
  
When we returned the nurses facial expressions and attitudes towards me changed from the time I had first come in... as if they were thinking "NOW she's in labor"  cause that excited girl that first came in was now just wanting to die and it was written all over my face.  

I was now dilated to a six.
And the first thing I said was, "I want my epidural NOW!!!!"

Unfortunately it took another hour or so to get the epidural so once I got it I was the happiest girl on the planet.  

Around 3:30AM they checked me again and were very surprised that I was already at a 10.  The two nurses in my room kept checking me and seemed super confused because they could feel the head and could tell my water had broken... but my water had never broken...at least that we were ever aware of... So finally my awesome Doctor came in and she had me start pushing.

I was so excited and in such a good mood that I let basically all the nurses in the hospital in my room and we all just laughed and chatted for the next thirty minutes before Max arrived.  At one point one of the nurses said, "You are the happiest woman (that is in labor) that I have ever seen!" 

"Last push"  my Doctor said.  And before I knew it I could see her trying to pull a baby out and said, "Gosh, this baby is bigger than I thought he would be!"  While still trying to pull the rest of his body out.  

They immediately put him on my chest and that crazy, unconditional, motherly love flooded over me for the second time in my life.  We laid there skin-to-skin and while he wailed I fell more and more in love with him every second.

My sweet Maxwell Jordan Mabey.
4:08 AM
7lbs 9oz
20 inches long


And to put a cherry on top of such a wonderful delivery, he nursed pretty much immediately and in shock I turned to my nurse and said "WHATTTT!!! It's not hurting....???"  He  latched better than Myra ever did.  

I am SO grateful for this little boy and the happiness he brings me... I am even grateful for the exhaustion he has brought to my life because it means I have a BABY... and gosh, I really love babies.  


A Walk Around Epcot...


Last Saturday I was feeling SO desperate to go into labor and have that baby!!!  So we thought it might be a good idea to walk around Epcot and see if it would make my contractions get stronger and closer together.

Much to my dismay the contractions didn't progress... but we had such a fun time together at the park for the last time as a family of three.


Family Pictures 2015

I never got the chance to post these pictures we got taken together this past summer!!!
It was freezing outside but we had such a fun time snapping these with Jessie.

Gosh... I really love these two... and those Utah mountains...sigh


Pictures by Jessie Alexis
Summer 2015
Provo Canyon

Maternity

That belly.
I am so grateful for the little boy that made up most of it.
It was a pregnancy I cried, prayed and yearned so desperately for...

Being told at my first prenatal appointment that I was probably going to lose the baby completely broke me into pieces.  I laid in bed the first trimester SO ill and completely unsure if all that sickness would lead to a baby.

And it did. And it did at just the right time in my life.  
I will forever be grateful for that belly, my sweet boy... for an answer to my prayers.  


Pictures by Jessie Alexis Photography at 34 weeks

December



For my birthday we went to Magic Kingdom.  Jordan did such an awesome job making sure it was a wonderful birthday for me, and that meant so much.  
Myra has been a bit obsessed with Pooh bear lately, so we bought her this little dude while we were there and she hasn't been able to sleep with out him since.
Later that month we also headed over to Hollywood studios to check out the Osborn family lights.  It was the last year they were going to have them so we wanted to be sure we got to enjoy the spectacular show.  It was AMAZING and Myra LOVED was in awe. 
Then we headed to Utah....
I didn't get a lot of pictures while I was there because most of the time I was in bed SO SICK!  
But other than all of us getting so ill, we had a wonderful Christmas.
Jordan made a gingerbread house with Myra...
and all she wanted to do was eat the frosting. :)
They also went sledding.. but after sledding down the hill a few times she saw a playground and ran for the slide.  :)  

Carolina


(November)

Thanksgiving this year was a lot of fun.  We were able to drive up to North Carolina for a few days to celebrate the holiday with Jordan's sister and her adorable family.  

I fell in love with the area and all that came with it... The color (Florida is all ONE shade of green, ALWAYS), the adorable homes, and even the churches on every corner.  I think Myra also fell in love because the weather was perfect and she would whine every time I tried to get her to come inside. 


The night before thanksgiving, Jordan, Lizzy and I listened to Christmas music while we cooked our little hearts away.  I couldn't help but feel grateful at that moment for the husband that I married.  He helped slave away on the food with a giant smile on his face- not because he felt he needed to but because being with those he loves and helping those he loves makes him happier than ANYTHING.   And I admire him so much for that. 

Thanksgiving morning I got to go and see Jordan run a race!  That boy can do anything he puts his mind to... even if he doesn't train for it!  Once his race was over we got to watch Myra in her very first race.  She started off just looking around wondering what was going on, just moseying forward.  Once she saw me at the finish line she booked it right to my arms.  I think that was one of my happiest moments as a mom because although she finished practically last my heart was full of joy for her and I was SO proud of her just for doing it.

Im Half a Hoarder at Heart

(September)

There is something about antiques and heirlooms that tug at my heart strings.  Perhaps its the history and sentiment of it and maybe even a little bit that I love the way they look- BUT when its an antique that once belonged to someone I love I suddenly become extremely attached to it. 

In September, while in Utah, I decided to have Myra try on some old dresses that belonged to my mom when she was little... She ran around the backyard in them sniffing flowers and giggling and I could picture my mom as a young child with her bright blonde hair, infectious smile and curiosity toddling around in those outfits as well.

I hope that I pass my crazy sentimental heart along to at least one of my children... Not enough to be a hoarder, but just enough that they will keep, cherish, and pass to their children the things that made my heart sing in life.





WE'RE BACK

Sooooo... I've been busy working on growing baby #2.  Due February 18, 2016.


Unfortunately, I was very ill up till recently so any energy I had went into being a momma to Myra... Not much posting on any kind of social media and this little family journal unfortunately went out the window as well.  

We are SO excited for this new addition to our family.  He is a little miracle and every kick I feel makes my heart just melt with happiness.  

While I was away from blogging we did have some fun time together as a family... Disney, Epcot's Food and Wine festival (amazing), visitors (family is the best ;)), Halloween and so much more.  



I love these people so much!  

I am excited I finally have the energy to start recording our lives again! :)  Just in time for the Holidays.  

Answers...


Sharing some feelings I put out in the open on Instagram today:

In general, I keep trials to myself.  Not to make people view my life in a certain way, but because sharing my hard times always makes me feel worse... Perhaps it's that I fear people will scoff at me because they feel in comparison to their lives it's hardly a trial... yeah...That reaction and what I actually normally get, "Bummer, I'm sorry" with no sympathy at all. (Cue punch in gut).

I try so hard to focus on the positive things in my life and some of my closest friends don't even know of the hardest things i've dealt with.  But today is different.  A few weeks ago I was talking to my sister in law and she was saying that trials would probably be easier to endure if everybody talked about them.    We would feel less alone and perhaps be more understanding.  She had many more profound words but I don't remember exactly what she said.  Her words sunk in deep with me.  And all morning I have felt guided by the Spirit to share a little.  Not in hopes for pity or attention, but in hopes that those dealing with this too will feel a little less alone.

We have dreamed for years of lots of babies close in age and after having Myra we decided pretty early on to try for another one.  After countless negative pregnancy tests, hopes up, hearts broken, doctors apts, blood tests, and dealing with amenorrhea, we found out today that I have thyroid disease.

Most of me actually feels happy and relieved to have found WHY my body is acting so psychotic, but a sliver of me worries that I'm getting my hopes up that treatment of this will result in a pregnancy.

Ladies, fertility issues are tough,  I know there are women out there that have dealt with much worse and I am so grateful that I already have a child, but it has still been SO hard for me.  In sharing this I really hope that someone out there feels today that they aren't alone in dealing with it.  You're not the only one crying when when a pregnancy announcement pops up on social media or feel as though you're going to vomit before you look at a stick you just peed on.  We are all in this together and I pray for those that deal with this daily, because I know first hand how hopeless it can make you feel.  I love you guys.  We got this!!!

I have felt an outpouring of love and well wishes today after sharing this.
I hope everyone knows how much I love and appreciate their prayers.
We are fighting hard to bring another babe to our home and I am determined to win this little battle!

xoxo

Memorial day: Part 2

Memorial day evening we got to spend with my family in my parents backyard having a BBQ.
^^^ Zoe, my brothers daughter is just s few months younger than Myra so its really fun to watch them together^^^
^^^My sweet Grandparents.  I love them so. ^^^
^^^ Myra with my brother Brady ^^^
^^^ Papa and Zoe ^^^
^^^ Jordan and I made the yummiest Ice Cream.  Fickle Brickle! ^^^

I love this family so darn much.

Memorial Day: Part 1

We were so lucky to be able to be in Utah for memorial day!  That morning we went to some family graves in Salt Lake with some of Jordan's family.  This is something Jordan and I love to do.  Most of my family graves are a bit farther away so we don't get there every year, but being there and hearing stories about these past family members fills me with pride and humility all at the same time.  Pride that these people who were so amazing are my relatives and humility as I think about how desperately I need to try harder to leave such wonderful legacies like them.  
^^^When Jordan and I were dating his uncle passed away.  While at the grave side I looked to my side and saw this bench.  It said "Kern" (my maiden name), and "Mabey" just kitty corner from each other.  We laughed, thought it was bizarre and telling of the future! :) We still laugh every time we see this bench. ^^^
^^^Myra sitting next to Jordan's grandma's grave, the woman she was named after.  Myra disliked her name and went by "Peggy" so I imagine she's rolling in her grave over the fact that we used her name for our baby girl :) Personally, I much prefer "Myra".^^^
^^^Myra with her cousin Amelia.  Everyone comments how much they look like sisters.  And these two  ADORE each other!^^^
I hope you guys had a wonderful memorial day!  I am so grateful for those who have passed before me.