We did it!!! We matched to UTAH and I well up with tears every time I think about it.
This is something I prayed and prayed & hoped and hoped for... but never thought would actually happen. I had a few experiences over the past few months that I felt were the spirit telling me that that's what was going to happen but I didn't want to get my hopes up and think it really was the spirit... because then if it hadn't happened I would have set myself up for disappointment. Major disappointment. So then I just told myself those thoughts and feelings I was having were just "me" and that I was making myself feel those things because I wanted it so badly.
I was a stress case leading up to match week... I was not sleeping at night, and when I was I was grinding my teeth. I just wanted so badly to just be excited and happy with wherever we were going to match. I kept singing to myself, "I'll go where you want me to go, dear lord..." and I prayed every night for a year (not exaggerating) that I would just feel at peace and happy with wherever he needed to send us. And then after a year of this it finally came down to a week before match day and I bawled to Jordan as we laid in bed... My feelings spilled out and I expressed my frustration with the lack of peace I was feeling in all the possibilities of places we could end up. I was trying everything I possibly could to make myself feel at peace about not matching in Utah... I felt my prayers had been unanswered.
The morning of match day came and I was so nervous I couldn't even eat breakfast or lunch. Then we all gathered around the tables and listened to a small speech and before I knew it we were all counting down to open them up. Jordan's coat button got caught in Myra's hair which delayed the opening and everyone around us was cheering as they were opening and seeing theirs and I just wanted to vomit. Jordan finally got it opened up and took forever to finally say, "UTAH"! I SCREAMED and felt the biggest weight lifted off my shoulders... A happiness and relief I haven't felt in years. I felt as if Heavenly Father wrapped his arms around me and said, "You're going home. You did it. You did it... and now you get to go home!"
I am so proud of Jordan and feel so much gratitude for such a loving Heavenly Father. He did answer my prayers.
We are coming home.