My adorable and sweet friend over at the blog Mrs. Med School is putting together some thoughts from med school wives around the Country and asked me if I would write a little something about my experience as a med school wife in hopes to help out other med school wives and future med school wives. While I only have half a year of experience I went for it and thought I would share a little here...
Hello! My name is Hailey Mabey. My husband is in his first year at University of Central Florida and we are loving it. Are there hard days? YES. Hard WEEKS. Definitely. But there are also awesome days and easy peasy weeks. For us, some days he is home by noon and we get to go play at Disney World for the rest of the day. And other times (test weeks) he is gone before our baby wakes up in the morning and gets home far past her bed time and then continues to study once he gets home. The laundry piles up, the dishes pile up and I am still in my pajamas from the night before and they are covered in baby food. But despite this I can absolutely say that I have never in my life been happier. The first few months away from family were really difficult for me and I would sleep with my baby blanket at night and cry into it because the smell of it reminded me of home. But as time went on I eventually MADE the decision to be happy. I read ten happiness tips from Gordon B. Hinkley, wrote them down on a piece of paper with a sparkly crayon and stuck it on my fridge. I eventually blossomed into a happier person and began to love the stage of life that were are at. I laugh more, I stress less and cry far less. Before coming out here many people gave me the advice that I needed to make friends with other med school wives and get out of the house. While I agree with this, I believe the most important thing is to choose happiness. I still have hard days, but I don’t cry into my baby blanket at night anymore! :) Here is a little summary of the steps.
1.The purpose of life is to be HAPPY!
2.Stop being SELFISH or COMPLAINING.
3.God is in charge, stay POSITIVE.
4.Set realistic GOALS.
7.Improve ATTITUDE. Positive>Negative.
8.Happiness requires WORK.
9.Study things that matter.
And remember… Your husband is doing this not just for himself but for YOU! Of course he would rather watch a movie with you than study (We hope :)). But he is studying and working hard so that he can provide a wonderful living for you someday. Love him, encourage him and be easy to forgive.
My last tip is to do something everyday for yourself. Somethings I do that help bring some happiness to my soul… Read or watch a show while the baby sleeps (Gilmore Girls anyone??), make some caramel and eat a TON of it, buy something online, go to a play date with YOUR friends, start up or continue doing a hobby… the list goes on. Yes, money is tight, but don’t get so caught up in not spending any money that you have no fun. Make a budget and allow there to be money for some fun things. You don’t want to spend ten years anxious for when you will be making money so that you can finally have fun. You don’t want to wish your life away, have a little fun NOW. Go out on a date, buy that dress you have wanted for weeks, and make sure your pantry is always stocked with chocolate! Regardless of what people think or say, they do provide enough loans for you to live like a human being. Like I said, BUDGET it!
You can do this! You are not alone. There are thousands of people out there who know just what you’re going through and I am praying for you med school wives EVERY morning. Give your selves a pat on the back! Sending love to all of you! XOXO