Early Saturday morning we packed up the car and headed to Clermont to pick some berries.  As we drove out of the city and started to drive past big open fields I felt a calm and peaceful feeling deep in my heart.  I mentioned to Jordan how sad it is that humans make the earth so much uglier than it is naturally... That we can't even come close to competing with God. 

These big open fields full of trees and wildflowers blowing in the wind literally took my breath away.  I have always thought of that expression as merely just a figure of speech.  A way to describe something as very beautiful... but I literally felt my breath escape me for a moment.  Perhaps it was not just the view, but also spending time with my family all together too that made me feel so much gratitude to God.  For He not only created the beautiful earth but He created each of us individually and joined us together as a family.  There is nothing I would rather do and nobody I would rather be with.  I want to explore this world and see everything that He created from small blueberry patches in Florida to the mountains of Switzerland (although the later may take a bit longer to save up for;)) and I want to do it with these people by my side.  I am a defender of motherhood.  I am a defender of the family. And the older I get, the more I become a defender of our environment. 


Beauty and Motherhood are ONE

Myra sat at the table eating some fruit loops this morning while I waited my thirty minutes after taking my thyroid medicine to sit down and eat with her.  Normally we eat together and I read half a chapter from the Book of Mormon with them, but Myra jumped the gun early.

After a bit I walked over to the table to join her and found her laying down near her chair on the floor with a melancholy look in her eyes.... I figured she was just tired.  I laid down next to her stroking her blonde hair and baby soft cheek asking her if she was ok.... No response.  So I picked her up and put her on the couch to lay down and watch a show for a bit.

After a few minutes she asked if she could have some water.

She had a sip and then instantly... VOMIT- ALL OVER THE FRONT OF HER!!! GAH... It broke my heart in two.

I rushed her to the bathroom and stripped her dirty clothes off her hot body and stuck her in the bath.  After a long bath I put a comfy sweater and leggings on then tucked her in bed with her special strawberry blanky, a movie, crackers and some coke.

Its nap time now, so she is sleeping.  But thankfully her spirits were up and that sad look in her eyes was gone by the time I put her down to sleep.

Stephanie Nielson once said that, "To me, beauty and motherhood are ONE.  They are the same thing."

I love that and whole heartedly agree.

I remember being young laying in bed late at night after ralphing all over my floor and watching my mother clean it up.  She didn't make gross faces or complain.  She just did it because it was her duty and she would do anything for me.  And I get that now.  She then tucked me in, brought me a little glass of coke and kissed my forehead.

It's a different house now and I am the mother bringing a child some coke and cleaning up the mess... but it's the same love....the same care that was given to me.

I think a lot of kids grow up feeling like they have somehow inconvenienced their parents lives and that makes me so sad.  I feel so deep inside my bones that motherhood is the biggest privilege in the world and I think a big part of that comes from the way my mother treated me growing up.  I felt special, loved, important and unconditionally hers.  To me, that always made her beautiful.

Motherhood is devine... Its beautiful and I love it.  Sickness and all.