November 9, 2016

The past few days have been insane.

I woke up today and was shocked at the hate spewing out of peoples mouths via social media.
And it all made me feel sad.

Today and yesterday are days that will be a big part of America's history and I wanted to be sure I documented my thoughts and feelings.

November 8th came and almost went before I decided on who to vote for.  I felt confused.  I felt defeated... Defeated that the two people I had to choose from were two people I didn't want as leaders... I felt like it was some sick game I used to play with my friends called "would you rather" and you're given two awful choices you have to choose from.    

I finally showed up to vote as the sun was about to set at a cute little church down the street with a thousand prayers in my heart and not a clue who I was going to mark as my choice for President.  
It was just me and the two kiddos.  Myra was running around and max fussing in the stroller.  I felt frazzled and sweaty.  And then I made a mark.  I chose someone.

As I walked up to the lady to feed my paper into the machine I felt physically ill.  I wanted to fall on my knees and vomit not only the contents of my stomach but also a bucket of tears from my eyes.  

It didn't feel right for me. 

So with grumpy kids and a sweaty forehead, I asked for a new ballot and filled it in the only way I felt ok doing.  Whether it was a throw away or not, whether it's what everyone around me was saying to do or not do.  I followed my heart and it didn't make a spit of difference in the end to the world, but to me it always will make a world of difference knowing I followed my heart.  

But the thing is.... I was raised to understand that everyone will have different desires of the heart.  That who I may feel prompted to vote for may very well be completely different than who somebody else feels prompted to vote for.  That morning my mom said to me, "I will love you no matter WHO you vote for!"  I think those words are simply beautiful.  So no matter who you voted for, I love you.  

If you're in mourning.... believe me I am definitely in mourning with you.
If you're happy...I am happy that you are happy.
If you're praying for Mr. President, I am praying with you. 

We can do this if we do it together with loving hearts.
I wanted my children to know this.  So I wrote them a letter. 

Dear babies,

Today Donald Trump won the election for President... It has made fear bubble up in people with hatred spilling out all over the place. So today, I am sad. Mommy is really sad.
I hope I can teach you to LOVE unconditionally. I hope that you support your friends and family no matter who they vote for or what their views are. Because love should win in EVERY instance whether something is benefitting you or crippling you. Like I always tell you, "It's ok to feel sad and even mad. BUT that doesn't mean we can be cruel. You can be like Cinderella & her prince or you can be like the step-sisters. YOU choose. Kindness will always make you more beautiful than hatred." 
When Christ was crucified he prayed to the Lord to forgive them... forgive the very people that persecuted and killed him. That's real love, my babies.
Yes. Stick up for your beliefs. Stick up for yourself. Be courageous. But do it respectfully and others will respect you back. I can't imagine how wonderful the world would be today if everyone lived this way and taught their children this by word and deed.
If you grow up to be this way & teach YOUR children to be this way, I will die feeling like the most accomplished woman in the world. It will make me happier than any accolade ever could. Because it's all that truly matters.
Love is the way. Love is ALWAYS the way.