Future littles

Dear future littles,

My mind has drifted to thoughts of you much more often lately.  It leaves me with an anxious, excited and curious heart.  Anxious because I live for the day when I will be able to be your mother and learn and grow from you.  To smell your sweet baby scent, give you baths, feed you, read to you, sing you lullabies, tuck you in bed, make you cookies, make forts and Lego towers. Excited to put a face to your sweet spirits that I so often feel around me.  And curious about the kind of human beings you will all become.

Your dad and I dream about all of you.  We talk about what your names will be, who will have my personality, your dads, or a perfect mix. Talking about you is the one thing that relaxes me at the end of the day while laying in bed trying to sleep.  I turn to your dad and we talk forever about all of you and how excited we are to be parents.  I sit here typing with tears rolling down my cheeks and a smile on my face because I am so happy to someday call you mine.

I have a very hard time distinguishing my wants with Gods wants.  And that makes me worry sometimes.  I worry about when the right time is for me to bring your spirits to this earth.  So I pray all the time.  Not just to know when that time is, but I also pray that the environment you are brought into is a good one.  That your dad and I, and your loved ones will be ready to be good examples to you so that you can grow to possess all the potential that lies with in you. I know that I have a long ways to go before I am the future mother that I want to be.  But I promise each of you that starting today, I will dedicate the rest of my life to be the best mother I can possibly be so that someday when you are teenagers or adults and are feeling lost in the world, you will always know that your anchor is at home.  That your dad and I would do anything in the world to make you happy.

So, until that day when I get to hold you all in my arms and kiss your sticky sweet cheeks, I will work on being a more patient, less stubborn, selfless person.  That I will work harder on growing a strong testimony and being confident and happy with myself.  And while I work on these and many more things, my heart will be peaceful and happy knowing that you are all living with our Heavenly Father right now.  But promise me one thing.  Promise me that all of you will become best friends with Christ and God while you are there, hug them and learn from their examples (I envy that you live in their presence) because once you are on this earth, those relationships are what will make you happiest in life.

with all the love in my heart,
photo via we heart it