itty bitty

Monday morning I awoke so extremely excited for the evening. All day long I counted down the hours to when I would get to hold a little baby for two hours!!!

I have never babysat a newborn baby before. Only children who like to play "beat the babysitter" and "hide and seek" all day long! And holding that baby was like holding a piece of heaven. I just stared at him the whole time, enveloped in his every move. What a beautiful thing it is. To carry your child inside your belly for 9 months. To be one. And even greater than that... You get to raise that child. That human being that is a part of you and the Mr you love so dearly.

There is nothing I look forward to more than the days when I get to raise those children of mine and my Mr. Make them sandwiches, play hide and go seek with them, teach them how to treat others and themselves, watch them open presents on Christmas morning, watch them become a member of the church, care for them when they cry, share with them the amazingness of an egg mcmuffin, and so much more.

I think too much of that day. Of that day when I get to raise children. Every time I start thinking about it, I have to tell myself, NO, not yet. I have to... GET to, enjoy the time I have right now with my sweet husband. Where its just the two of us. Establish us, and then bring children to this world. So then I just think about what I can do now for those future children. I think about if they can watch us from the pre existence. If they can choose us, and see how we are living our lives. That's when I decide I better darn well be living in a way that I would want them to be living some day. Because if they are watching me, I am setting an example. Some days its really not a good example. But, I am trying!

I think a good way for me to start living a better life and to prepare for children is to start serving others more. I love this quote:

“I don't want to drive up to the pearly gates in a shiny sports car, wearing beautifully, tailored clothes, my hair expertly coiffed, and with long, perfectly manicured fingernails.
I want to drive up in a station wagon that has mud on the wheels from taking kids to scout camp.
I want to be there with a smudge of peanut butter on my shirt from making sandwiches for a sick neighbors children.
I want to be there with a little dirt under my fingernails from helping to weed someone's garden.
I want to be there with children's sticky kisses on my cheeks and the tears of a friend on my shoulder.
I want the Lord to know I was really here and that I really lived.”