Photo coutesy of "from my bookshelf" on etsy.
Lately I have been trying to not have regrets. To not let myself wish I could go back and make different decisions than the ones I have made. Obviously there are decisions that were probably not the best ones, but those sometimes were the important ones... the ones that I learned from. I often get dramatically carried away into the hard decisions I am going to make in life.... mapping out outcomes and thinking of every possible consequence that will happen through my decision. I then try and decide what to do based on whether I would be able to handle the consequences or not.
But, it's comforting and easier to make decisions when I know that life will be good no matter what.... that if I choose what I shouldn't have chosen, the consequence may be hard at the time, but with time it becomes easier to deal with and ultimately something that I learned a valuable life lesson from.
AND Sometimes it's things that happen in life that were never really a decision of mine, but someone else's that I wish they hadn't made. People's decisions almost ALWAYS affect those around them.
For example: I sit here listening to my dad and Jordan playing the guitar together and feel a happiness and peace with the way my life has turned out thus far. I look back to when I was a sixteen year old girl crying for hours in bed because a boy broke up with me. I remember my mom saying what everybody hates hearing when they are dumped. "Hailey, there are plenty of fish in the sea, and trust me, you will find a better fish." I remember rolling my eyes and thinking, "I don't want anybody else." If I would have trusted her, or known that in the future I would have met someone like Jordan, then my heartache at that moment in time would have been pretty much nothing.
My life has turned out better than I ever thought it would. Better than I could have ever imagined.
So I have tried... tried to stop making things harder for myself than they have to be. I have stopped listening to what people around me tell me to do, and what my mind tells me to do...Because my mind thinks too much and makes webs of thoughts.
I try to do what the church says to do... SIMPLIFY!!!! I simplify my thoughts without being so gosh darn analytical, make a decision, go to the Lord about it, and ACT upon it.
Because there is no use in going back to yesterday... cause today I am a different person because of yesterday. And when I get all caught up in decisions, I begin living in the yesterday, because those decisions should have been made then.
It is in moments like this when I realize the faith and trust I have in the Lord with my future and my life. For years I have worried and hoped for a certain future, but the Lord knew better than me what would really make me happy. And here I am happier than I ever thought possible because I trusted what the Lord threw at me and went with it. I am trying a lot harder this year to exercise that faith and stop worrying about what will happen in my future. because I know it will be glorious.
Lets stop living in yesterday and tomorrow.